Monday, January 4, 2010

The Lowdown

(March, 2003) -- Sheryl, our agency counselor, fills us in. David (as his mother, Michele, has named him) was a complete surprise. While preparing for midterms about three weeks ago, Michele’s college roommates rushed her to the hospital with suspected kidney stones. But she ended up in Labor & Delivery instead.

Doctors determine the baby was about 5 ½ weeks early, and he has some respiratory challenges that keep him in the hospital for nearly a week. This gives Michele a chance to figure out what to do. She decides to parent this adorable and tiny blond boy, and lines up help from her mom and Andy, David’s father. Friends also promise to support her until school is out in a few months.

Within a week, though, things fall apart. Michele’s mom lives 70 miles away from her school and just can’t help as much as is needed. And while details on Michele and Andy’s relationship are sketchy, he also proves not too present or helpful. Friends have their own lives and problems. And David is colicky. Michele simply can’t make this huge and immediate adjustment. Wanting some guidance and perspective, she calls Lutheran Family Services for counseling.

To give Michele the space to make such a monumental decision, Lutheran places David in Cradle Care. This is like a foster situation where loving people (in this case, a couple who built their family through Lutheran) care for a baby while a mother decides what is the best course for her and for her baby. She takes about two weeks to come to a decision, visiting David nearly every day, and showering her love on him.

I can't even imagine being faced with this situation. Most people who have experienced the "famine" of infertility can't fathom the "feast" of an unplanned pregnancy. I am eternally grateful that Michele made this decision carefully and with a loving heart and a clear head.

Looking at all the factors that only she can know, Michele decides adoption is the best path for David and for her. When she's ready, Lutheran offers her The Book of waiting couples.

She chooses us.


Waiting In Sunshine said...

Here from Creme regarding your Creme post:

Wow, I could have written this. I, too, have had the thoughts you have had. Many, many times. Thank you for being brave enough to write about them.

I am glad to see you thrive.


dspence said...

He has an incredible story and an amazing mother. Thank you for sharing!